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Only Love Works!

You may experience powerful feelings that are not necessarily love. They may be the delight of mutual attraction or being "deeply in like". Neither of these will last the first major conflict in your union.
Remember Amnon, King Davids' son? He was deeply "in love" with his half sister Tamar to the point of illness. Oh, he just had to have her, so he raped her. The story then goes on to say that he hated her more than he once "loved her". Tamar remained a broken recluse for the rest of her life and her brother eventually killed Amnon in revenge.
Why am i telling a story? To remind you not to assume that your feelings are based on the desire to love and give yourself to someone. It's just possible that your feelings are based on sensual desire, which may short out your ability to evaluate your potential union with the Him. Know for certain, perhaps seek premarital counseling to make sure you're both operating on a current of love. For long-term relationships, lust doesnt work. Only love does!

Excerpts of the book "How to make Love work by Michelle Mckinney Hammond

LOVE!

Far too many love connections fall apart because of lack of activity. Far too many relationships fade to black because romance gets filed away once two people have committed to each other at the alter.

The romantic habits that a couple practice initially, sometimes get lost as both partners get used to each other. Maybe he no longer holds the door for you; maybe you dont say "thank you" as often. Maybe you've stopped dating; setting time aside to reconnect romantically and emotionally. The fact is, those rituals you performed early in the courtship period are fundamental to your connection. They solidify the bond, giving both partners a familiar place to reengage and renew their commitment. This releases a fresh surge of power into the relationship.

Never take your relationship for granted. I think of a certain queen, Vashti in the book of Esther, who rested on her laurels and lost her crown. Her husband had been celebrating the expansion of his territories. The man had partied for six months when he remembered his beautiful wife and called her to come, dressed in her finery for all his guests to see. She was in the midst of throwing her own party and refused.

Vashti would never have refused her husband's request at the beginning of their marriage, when she was still eager to please. What then is the lesson? Never assume that you cannot be replaced.

I don't think this was Vashti's first time upsetting the king. He rolled over too easily on the recommendation to have her removed from her throne. If she had been working her magic on him, I don't think he would have been more prone to forgive her.

Just because you have commited to each other does not guarantee the relationship will last if you and your partner don't work at maintaining a flow of love. Love is not sustained by chemistry; it is maintained by things like romantic or endearing rtuals- the behaviours that characterised the way you treated each other when you were still trying to win each other's love.

It is those "little" things that establish strong connections and keep love grounded.

First Things First!

First things first. Let's put our priorities in order before we talk about love and men. We were created for God. Created to be worshipers. Created as a mate for his son Jesus. None of us are here by chance. You are here on purpose with a divine purpose to complete. God had something in mind when he formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were conceived he knew you. So there is a need to acknowledge God first in our lives before trying to give our lives to some man or woman who might even not be right for us.

Gems In Disguise!

Remember that Jesus, because he became a man in the incarnation, looked like other men. He rather blended into the crowd. In fact, He was broke as far as anyone knew. No fabulous wardrobe. He said he didn't have any place to lay his head. He had to go fishing to pay his taxes. He didn't have a regular job. Yet he was the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords in the form of a common man. Is this someone you would have been interested in?
If that isn't an object lesson, I dont know what is. Many a woman was drawn to him. Why? He was caring, sensitive, wise, strong yet gentle, perceptive to their deepest and most secret desires. He touched them in a way no other man had. He was understanding, not condemning, of their mistakes, and they knew he loved them. He was willing to die for them.
Now this is a Man that I could LOVE! Why don't we meet more men like that? Perhaps because they don't come in the package  we want or expect. We overlook them everyday. Decent, hardworking, quiet, unglamorous men......hmmm. Gems in disguise that could use the polish of a woman's touch. Have you ever noticed that married men are more attractive than single ones? Their wives all say the same thing, "he wasn't like that when i got him!" Stop looking for the ready made package.
And guys.......please can you just allow the ladies to see you as you are, and don't try impressing! It might work for a short while, but most definitely not Forever!

Appearance Can Be Deceptive!

You ask for a cup of water. I give it to you in a cup that you would not have selected. Will you not drink? Don't confuse the water with the cup. The water is what you need and desire. The cup can be cleaned up, painted, or changed. If we want to look out for our prospective husband/wife in their physical appearance today; we just might make the greatest mistake ever in our lives!!!

Thank you Lord, You have been a faithful Lover like no other because You are the Lover of my soul. There is no one like you. There are no words to express the love and joy i feel inside at the mere thought of you!