THE LADY AND HER LORD

I chanced upon Bishop T.D.Jakes book; The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord. At first glance, I knew i had to get the book. I don't know if it was the packaging or the title. After I bought it and took it home, I was convinced it was the title...."what about the title", you may ask. Well, I think the "LOVER" part did the trick. I was curious, I wanted to know what lover in this context meant. If it was the kind of lover I had in mind or probably something else... It actually took me about three months to start reading the book and when I finally did, I hated myself for not reading it earlier! Lord! Ok, so I'm sure you'll be wondering, "What at all did you find in the book"? Before, I go any further, let me share a little......

"When a lady has a lover, her eyes sparkle, her smile is bright, and her voice is calm and passionate. With her lover at her side, her heart is peaceful, for she feels secure and can close her eyes and rest her head on his shoulder.

But, in the stillness of the night, when he has gone to sleep and there are pending issues on her mind, it is her Lord who works the night shift and watches over her in the dark. He is the one whom she can talk to when her words cannot describe what she is feeling. Her husband may understand what she says, but her Lord understands what she feels" Pg5

After reading that piece, I finally understood why women should not use marriage as an escape from reality. Until, you have a personal relationship with yourself and with your Father in Heaven, you cannot have a successful relationship with your husband. Your husband might be head over heels in love with you. He might be the one who puts you on cloud nine. That intense feeling of Love....You know when you wake up first thing in the morning and he's the first thing you think about? Your heart skips a beat when you see him and he smiles your way...Sometimes, the world feels too small for you two, because, your Love keeps growing bigger and bigger and bigger! But, all these will be USELESS, if a woman does not have a personal relationship with God. God works the night shift when your husband is busily snoring his head off. Late in the night, when a woman wakes up and battles with her inner self, her choices and what the future holds for her, she needs something more than the rhythms of love she shares with her husband. She needs a touch which is not only masculine, but comforting, soothing and one which knows what she doesn't. At that solemn moment, she needs an ear which will not only hear her pour out how she feels and what is going on in her inside, because, she won't even be in the position to talk. All she needs is someone who understands how she feels without her uttering a word.

For every woman, this feeling is inevitable and it takes a woman who has built a personal relationship God and herself and finally her husband, to withstand. Your husband can never take up God's role neither can he take up that personal relationship with "yourself".

Part 1

THE OTHER WOMAN

"The other woman" what does it mean? Well, it simply refers to the lover of a married man or a similarly attached man. Amazingly it's been in existence for several years. The current generation, however see it as fashion. Young ladies of today have more pleasure in holding on to men who are attached to other women. My question is, how does it feel when you can't have access to him anytime you want to? How does it feel smiling at your other woman and saying in your head "I am doing your husband"? How does it feel knowing that you could one day be in the same position as the woman whose husband you are stealing?  Interestingly, most of these women get jealous when the man flirts with other women. "Oh yeah" What were you thinking when he managed to flirt with you while he still had a wife? This man wakes up every morning in the arms of his wife, looks her in the eye and deceives her only to be with you. Some of these men go to the extent of abandoning their responsibilities at home. He's no more the caring husband he was, the kids don't even feel his presence at home. On the contrary, some men can also play it well. You might never be able to tell the difference. They are damn smart! The vacations are on point, His presence at home is felt, He's even more caring a husband than he ever used to be, but all along, there is another woman. Some are of the argument that these men have wives who are not playing their roles well and thus are left with no other choice than to engage in adultery. Is this enough reason to sell ones' soul to the devil? Is it enough reason to go back on your marriage vows you made in the presence of the Lord? Certainly, it is not. Until men see how serious extra marital affair is, the whole talk on it will just be fruitless.

As the other woman,have you ever thought of having your own man? A man to whom you will always be "numero uno"? Or just maybe, you are thinking you can one day get to keep this man all to yourself? "Funny". Have you ever asked yourself why some of these married men will never divorce their wives even if given the opportunity to? Well, it's simple....You just cannot replace their wives. They don't see you as wife material, because being a wife means you are versatile and you can function in lots of areas at the same time. The only place you  can function well, is on the bed. Then after that he gets you some few cedis/dollars in his eyes but to you it's a whole lot of cash. Being the other woman has being in  existence since time immemorial, so what is my problem? Some may say. Well my problem is, in the past, women were ashamed to be called the other women. It was done discreetly. But today, a lady can walk arm in arm with a married man to an event. It is sad to think that women who are supposed to be the very ones watching each others back are their own enemies. Whatever happened to conscience?whatever happened to integrity?

I don't believe anyone has any tangible reason for being "the other woman". If you do, let me hear it and let's see if it is worth it.

Don't be reduced to being "the other woman" Work at having your own man.

Be Smart!!
Be a timely woman!

REAL WOMAN

A woman who enjoys being a woman is the most desirable creature to a man. womanhood is a mystery to men they are determined to solve. There is something about women that man envy. You should enjoy the aspects of your femininity. It is clear to a man when you are having a good time being who you were created to be.

A real man is looking for a real woman. He recognizes one when he sees her and desires to join himself  to her, knowing deep within she is the missing piece of his existence. 

Dont be too engrossed in trying to please the world, and then you miss your purpose as a woman.
Esther, Ruth, Hannah, and Abigail were very beautiful women. Infact the Bible describes their beauty in different ways. One would think, they would rely on their looks for livelihood. But No! Before they were found by their men, they were already busy themselves, working with their hands. One lesson we need to learn, since time immemorial, being Virtuous as a woman comes as a result of your relationship with God and how industrious you are.
  
Being just beautiful as woman is not enough. The world is looking out for intellectual women, women who do not rely on their looks alone for livelihood. It is not the boobs nor the curves, but hard work, determination and talent. 

Show Some Love!

Each day we yearn to be loved. Does this make us selfish? No! The human body is created in a way that it seeks self gratification constantly..this does not make us selfish. What makes one selfish is when we do not see others as human as we are. You want to be loved, You want to hear the nicest things said about you, but, have you loved someone yet? Have said anything nice to anyone yet? You do unto others what you want to be done to you. When people feel loved, they automatically reciprocate it. In a world where everyone is busy trying to make ends meet, a little love helps relief the stress. Show someone the same amount of Love and Attention you desire and gradually this world would be a better place.
Always remember its the little things that you do, that get the heads turning in your direction.